Life has been throwing me quite a few curve balls lately and I am very grateful that I have so many tools and resources to help me get through the rough spots.
You see for the past year, I've basically ignored my personal life. I've been very focused on building my business and tending to the daily tasks to keep things running smoothly. Problem was, my personal life wasn't running smoothly at all and I was ignoring it - hoping things would just go away. We all know that never works, right?
Eventually, the things that you ignore have a way of coming up and biting you right on the rear. If you've been ignoring numerous things (like I was), chances are good that everything will rain down on you at once and you'll find yourself saying "What else can go wrong?" I highly recommend that you not ask that question, because as soon as the words cross your lips, there's a good possibility that you will discover exactly what else can go wrong. It's called Murphy's Law.
Allow me to provide a not-so-brief summary of my stress factors - not for sympathy because I realize I have personally created all of this. I want to share with you so that you will know you aren't alone and that there is always a solution - no matter how big the challenge may seem.
Things started to snowball early last month when Sarah passed away. The first week, I was still in shock. The next two weeks were spent organizing my trip to Seattle and completing the "Sarah's Gift" project. It was an emotional time, but that was only the tip of the iceberg.
My husband and I were recently audited by the IRS and I procrastinated about turning in the last bit of paperwork. Due to my negligence, the IRS threw out all of our deductions and stated that we owed them $30,000 in taxes. Can you say heart attack?
Not only do we owe them $30,000, but they are also going to audit our 2001 tax return and we get to start the process all over again. Joy, joy!
The following week my computer was hacked. This guy/girl was a mean little sucker too. When I attempted to download software to track his ISP, he would block me and crash my computer. We did a nice little cyberspace dance for about 2 hours and I knew that he was watching my every move. I don't know how hackers do this kind of thing. I've heard about it happening to others, but I have every piece of security software known to man installed on my computer and to have this happen was frustrating and a little freaky.
I don't understand the mentality of hackers. In my opinion they are terrorists. What did I do to him to make him want to intrude into my life? Better yet, why did I attract that into my life?
I have literally spent hours upon hours fixing my computer. I am NOT a computer person. I know more then the average Joe, but I'm far from being a techie. None the less, I finally conquered the hacker and for the moment he is gone. And this may not be very spiritual, but I visualized his computer frying and sparks shooting out of his monitor, as I shot electrical energy from my fingertips into his computer.
Oh, but I'm not finished yet...
My husband and I have been wanting to move for the past few years. For those of you who know my story, you'll remember when I moved into this house, it made my daughter and me seriously ill. The toxic off-gassing created numerous health problems for us and we spent three years going from one specialist to another, all to no avail.
Finally, I met with an alternative health practitioner and nutritionist and within 15 minutes of talking to me, she knew exactly what I had. Environmental Illness. Toxic overload. All from my brand new home.
Due to being ill, I lost my job and almost lost my home to foreclosure. I was accepted into a program run by HUD (Housing & Urban Development) and for three years, I made partial payments. Bad move. What this did was create an enormous amount of unpaid interest on the loan and I owe more on the house than it is worth.
As time went on, the mortgage was sold from one lender to another and was purchased by Franklin Credit Management in August 2001. From day one, we've referred to them as the New York mafia because these people are ruthless.
The woman in charge of my loan is a real piece of work. Sometimes she can be civil to me, but for the most part she is condescending and rude. She has been a real thorn in my side for almost 3 years.
We are on what is called a Forebearance Agreement because of the excessive interest. What this means is that every six months, Franklin Credit reviews our account and determines where we should be. They can raise our payments to basically whatever amount they see fit and we can either pay it or they will foreclose on the loan.
Organizing all the paperwork for the IRS audit provided me with the opportunity to take a new look at the paperwork we have just been signing and sending off to Franklin Credit every 6 months. Our payment has doubled over the past 18 months. We have been paying and paying and paying and oddly enough, our interest and principal never goes down. In fact, I owe more now than I did when they bought the loan 3 years ago. Does something smell a little fishy here to you?
I decided to check around online and see if I could dig up any dirt on the company and sure enough, I found a group of attorneys in Illinois who are putting together a civil suit against Frankin Credit. Apparently Franklin Credit is viewed as a predatory lender (meaning they take advantage of people with not-so-great credit). Apparently there are some issues regarding the Truth in Lending law. I spoke with the attorney and sent him copies of the paperwork for review.
Now another twist to the story is this...
Three weeks ago my husband applied for a mortgage and was pre-approved. We've been checking out houses on the internet and then driving by to see if we want to further view them. It's been a real time saver!
Our plan was to sell this house, make a few dollars to use as a down payment on another home and just be done with it. But no, Franklin Credit doesn't want to do business that way. There is a loophole where you can offer the mortgage company what they call a "short sell". That means they will accept less than what is owed on the loan. My loan officer wasn't too interested in discussing this option with me.
After weighing all of our options and knowing that we have been approved for another mortgage, we have made the decision to let the property go into foreclosure. However I'm not going down without a fight.
I have lived in this house for 13 years. The vast majority of time, I made monthly payments. According to Franklin Credit's own paperwork, their accounting leaves a LOT to be desired. That's why I have sent them a letter according to the RESNA program at HUD. This allows me to send them a list of questions that they must respond to within 20 days. They must attempt to resolve these issues within 60 days. If they do not they are in violation of federal law.
I truly believe that Franklin Credit has taken advantage of us every opportunity they could. The sad part is, I allowed it to happen. All because I was in fear of losing my home. They knew this and they took advantage of it - all in the name of the almighty buck.
Why am I posting this on a public forum? Because all of these events created a tremendous amount of stress in my life. The truth of the matter is, I allowed these events to cause stress.
I know that everything happens for a reason. I know that everything will turn out in the end. I know that I was coming from fear. What I didn't know was WHY I was manifesting all these things I didn't want into my life? What was the message?
Several months ago I met a woman named Linda Miller through the Ryze networking community. Linda is a very spiritual woman and has the most incredible energy. Yesterday I was at my wit's end and I kept hearing a voice inside my head telling me to call Linda. I have only spoken with her a few times and did not want to intrude upon her time, but the voice was so insistent that I gave in. Guess what? Linda made time to talk to me and she provided me with some very valuable advice.
She suggested I take a little down time and journal. She suggested I ask my spiritual guides for assistance and allow myself to receive the answers. You've heard me say this before - we all have the answers within. We just need to take the time to be quiet and listen to what we have to say.
I took her advice and spent about two hours journaling. It was a very enlightning experience. I was able to see the big picture as I peeled away the layers of the emotions that have kept me attached to this house for so many years.
You see, as a child, my father constantly told me that I would never amount to anything. One of the greatest moments in my life was the day he showed up to see my brand new home. At the time it felt like quite the victory. The sad thing was, even though I actually did amount to something, it didn't matter to him. I still was not good enough in his eyes.
The man has been dead for 10 years and I was still carrying that around with me. We humans sure can torture ourselves, can't we?
The neighborhood is not what it used to be. After testifying in court against the neighbor who robbed our other neighbor, we had already made the decision to leave. So why was I struggling with it so much? There had to be more.
It wasn't easy getting real with myself, but once I did, I was able to clearly see where I was going, why I was going there, and what steps I needed to take to ensure I arrive at my destination. If only I had taken the time to do this months ago...
Now that you have read this chapter in my life, you can see that I am human too. I have struggles and challenges just like you. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me. Sometimes I am out of balance. And I used to be a huge procrastinator, until it cost me $30,000. I guarantee you that I am on top of everything now! No more sleeping at the wheel!
When you find yourself swimming in confusion or filled with fear and doubt, it's time to pull yourself up to the computer or grab a pen and paper and start asking yourself questions.
Why is all of this happening to me now?
What fears do I have about this situation?
What's the worst that can happen?
What is the solution?
What are my options?
Keep digging until you know in your gut that you have found the answer. It may take you 10 minutes or it may take you 10 days. It doesn't matter. Keep at it until you find what you need. Then take action.
Just knowing what to do and why isn't going to fix everything. You've got to become pro-active in creating your life. If you don't, you're leaving things to chance and will end up feeling like a victim. When you feel like a victim, you give up your personal power and allow others to make choices for you. Chances are they are not going to have your best interest at heart.
To achieve inner peace, you must accept full responsibility for your life. If you do not like where you're at or the things that are taking place, take the time to dig deep and discover what's really going on. I promise you the answers are there.
After you've completed your journal exercise, take time to visit at least one of the following sites:
A Network for Gratefulness
Spiritual Wealth Training Resources
Project Prosperity
Wealthy Soul
Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams
Meditation Station
By now you will be so spiritually charged and possess so much clarity that I can't even begin to imagine all the wonderful things you are going to accomplish!
Know that no matter how insurmountable your mountains may seem, there is always a solution. Don't suffer in silence. Reach out and let us know how we can help you. I promise you that together we can find a solution to your challenges. If you are willing to accept responsibility for the condition of your life as of this very moment and you are willing to use the resources provided to you, you have already won the battle. If you get stuck, I will help you.
Feel free to post your comments or questions in the "Comments" section. I will respond to you as promptly as possible.
Live Well and Dream Huge!
The Spiritual Peacemaker
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